The Troll Hunting Survival Guide

By Helen Cox

Troll Hunter will soon be stalking UK cinemas nationwide. Mocumentary fans wishing to survive the experience should take note of the following:

  • Renounce God. Seriously. Trolls can smell Christian blood and will eat you. Whole.
  •  Don’t lie about being  a Christian. You’ll put your whole party in danger which isn’t very Christian of you at all, is it?

  •  Daylight is your friend. Those big, hairy oafs turn to stone or conveniently explode when exposed to intense light.
  • Do whatever it takes to smell like a troll. Pungent troll stink can be harvested from dead trolls quite simply. Bathe in it liberally to avoid being detected by the carnivorous ones.
  • When in doubt run away. Very, very quickly.

Although not quite the good-bad movie the trailer promises it to be there are some genuinely funny moments and plenty of creative camera work in Troll Hunter. It will most please those who felt the Blair Witch Project took itself a bit too seriously or thought Cloverfield far too monster-free. A 90 minute dose of daftness.

Helen has awarded Troll Hunter three Torches of Truth

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