By Adam Vaughan
You know the story… Young, carefree college students decide to go and have fun at someone’s parent’s house out in the middle of nowhere, happily adjacent to a large expanse of water. The still-carefree group bump into some gnarly dudes at the last point for phone reception and food before they hit their holiday home, a very bizarre encounter, but who cares right – we on holiiii-day! We speed past their boring settling in and naughty drinking alcohol scenes and go right on ahead to the fun water sports section of the programme… But what is that in the water? Dummmm-DUUUUUUMMM… Oh no, a shark’s fin!
The only surprise with Shark Night 3D is the film’s limited use of its only selling point – 3D. Instead of all-out offal and sharks leaping out of the screen, for the most part there’s barely a protruding fin. In the end, the film comes to represent yet another example of the redundancy and utter pointlessness of the technology.
What could have been a trashy horror romp quickly turns into a stagnant and predictable damp squib with its hip group of students (played by actors from an assortment of T.V. shows usually found on E4) going to a secluded lake house retreat to be turned into chum one by one. If you don’t know where this is going after the first twenty minutes then you obviously haven’t seen enough of the endless Texas Chainsaw Massacre rehashes; this is a horror movie with no bite.